Write what you know???

One of the very first pieces of advice I ever heard regarding writing fiction was the simple statement: "Write what you know."

Okay, sure, on the surface it seems simple. Logical. Then follows the assumption that the only way to truly know something is to have lived it. Ah, yeah... I really don't think anyone wants to read about a stay-at-home mom with five kids. Hey, I could be wrong, but my life is not that interesting. Happy, but rather dull -- just the way I like it. ;)

So, does this mean if I haven't been an astronaut or a CIA agent, then I probably won't write a believable story about either? Okay, no, I do not plan to write anything set at NASA and I've done the later already... SECRETS AND SHADOWS. But I've never been a secret agent. I truly doubt any of the writers who have penned a romance including a spy hero or heroine ever worked for the FBI. I could be wrong.

If you do enough of the right kind of research, as a writer you should be capable of creating anything and making your reader believe in it. I've never been to Ireland, but I wrote a story set there -- ALAINA'S PROMISE. Reviewers and readers alike praised the book. One wrote how she 'fell in love' with the country and its people by reading that novel.

That was a case where my research combined with talent paid off. :) Does that mean I hit the mark? In some ways, yes. But few readers have ever been to 1870s Ireland, so I doubt I'll ever know how accurate my descriptions were.

All this said, I do feel there are some things you cannot simply read about and then write well. The foremost would be emotions. If I had never been in love, I'm not sure I could ever write a romance. Maybe I could read someone else's book and then repeat back the sensations and feelings conveyed. But even then, using my own words, I don't think it would ring true. You have to understand or have felt something before you can describe it to someone else. Otherwise, it's like trying to explain snow to someone who has never seen it when you've only seen it in a picture. You're missing way too much.

Yes, there are many other emotions involved in my writing. Despite popular opinion, romances are not all about the sex.

There's anger, deep hatred, lust, fear, greed, envy, sadness and depression. I have experienced each and every one of them -- plus others -- at some point in my life. Therefore, yes, I can write a murder scene and make you feel the anger of the killer or the fear of the victim. Have I ever killed anyone? Obviously not -- unless you count the occasional insect or two. But I have a basis in understanding those feelings I think might be involved. I can and do imagine the rest.

So I will add my own two cents of advice to the sage: "Write what you know." ... Go out and experience life. Find out what it's like to be a true friend; to fall in love. Discover every positive emotion ... and learn to control the destructive ones. But learn to feel... for without feelings, there is little point to living or writing.

Then when you want to write a story... a really good story... you'll understand your characters more thoroughly, and even the most mundane setting or character can be made riveting and real. Almost anything beyond your normal experiences can be found during research. A true writer can imagine or create the rest.

Men, and why I adore them...

It seems so easy to get into a rant about men. How dumb they can be. How confusing they are, etc. But I think I need to take a moment and let everyone know that I adore them. All men -- not just the cover-model gorgeous ones or the movie stars I sigh over.

Okay, let me qualify that a tiny bit ... I adore good men. Those with a sense of honor and integrity. Those who do what they have to do without complaining about it day in and day out. The ones who are tough, yet tear up when his child does something special or the family pet is laid to rest.

Those are the ones I truly appreciate.

Of course, I have my own special man. He's honest, hardworking, has a quirky sense of humor and is very intelligent. He loves and supports me though he doesn't always understand just what it is I do... especially how I manage to do it. He's the first to brag and often the last to get any attention himself. He's a loyal husband and friend; a wonderful father; a good man; and I teasingly call him my oldest child. (Not going for browny points here, he doesn't read my blog. LOL!)

I was recently asked why the heroes in romance novels are always young, tall, well-muscled, with lots of hair and great looks. I hesitate to reply because the reply sounds sexist. It really does. But in general, that is a woman's fantasy and I'm writing for them. Just as the totally hot, thin babe in every James Bond film is the fantasy of most men.

But I think if you look beyond the physical, you'll see a lot of 'real' men in my heroes. They have flaws, weaknesses. They often say exactly the wrong thing as well as the right one. The latter is because they have me writing the dialogue. ;)

They are men with pasts -- with things they wished they had done differently. They are often brave and completely fearless to the untrained eye. Yet, the heroine scares them to death. They make mistakes. And yes, they always wind up with the girl. Like I said, this a fantasy -- a woman's fantasy. A romance.

Just because I idealize men in my books, it doesn't mean I look down on all the real, slightly overweight and balding men out there. Quite the contrary! And if I could get away with using such heroes ... or without describing them at all, then I would. But I just don't know if it would work. Correction -- if I could make it work.

Women tend to internalize words and images. Romance novels feed the imagination, the heart with the sensual image of a man and woman together. It makes us long for love and all that comes with it. It makes us hope, if even for a moment, for that happy ending in our own lives.

So I feed the fantasy as I offer up heroes with six-pack abs and thick, dark hair. Maybe I'll become a better writer someday, and offer those same visions with merely the color of his eyes and hair, leaving the rest to the imagination alone.

Until then, I'll write the fantasies. I'll let my heroine conquer her bad-boy, rough-edged hero. I'll help the reader remember what that blush of first love felt like...and maybe inspire them to re-light the spark with their own knight in burnished armor.

But I couldn't accomplish any of this without men -- real men for me to base the most important characteristics upon: honesty... integrity... humor... compassion.

So while I might roll my eyes and implore the heavens: "What on earth was he thinking?" ... Always know that this woman does appreciate the good guys out there. My good guy, in particular. Obviously so, because I chose to live most of my adult life with him. :)

Tools of the trade

Every career requires a certain amount of learning or training. Writing is no different. While classes in English, literature, and creative writing can help hone a god-given talent, the learning doesn't stop there. And the best place to learn? From other writers, of course. :)

There are some things -- books, in particular -- that I personally feel no serious writer should be without. First, there's the obvious: Strunk & White Elements of Style; and a good dictionary and thesaurus combo. For the latter, shop around a bit to find one with a lot of choices. Some, I've found, are limited.

Now, for the more subjective list.

On Writing, by Stephen King

I've lost count of the number of writers who say they swear by this book -- that to them, it's like the industry bible. Whether or not you enjoy horror, King is one of the greatest writers ever. He has an amazing ability to string words together and draw you deep into the story and the minds of his characters. This book -- which is somewhat an autobigraphy as well as a how-to book -- is full of fantastic guidance.

Now I give fair warning: it is not for the faint of heart. He's honest, forthwright and his language can be extremely... shall we say, earthy? ;) If cursing bothers you, then pass it by -- unless you can overlook it and instead glean the gems from this work. It just might be worth it, but that's a very personal preference.

Writing the Romance Novel for Dummies, by Leslie Wainger

This book is sitting on my own shelf. While you may not be interested in writing romance, Wainger's book still has great advice regarding characters, plotting, etc. If you are writing romance, then this book is a must-have because it comes from the perspective of the editor -- that person you want to please with your final product.

Another great 'how-to' book for romance writers is:

The Art of Romance Writing, by Valerie Parv

Ms Parv is a multi-published romance author -- probably well-known to the Harlequin/Silhouette readers. She's clever, a fantastic story-teller, and a really amazing lady. Any guidance you can receive from an established pro has got to be worth its weight in gold.

Okay, these are just some of the tools I'd like to endorse for anyone wanting to improve their writing style. Next time, some ideas for researching. But until then, would anyone like to add to the list?

What genre is your life?

Is it romance? Comedy? Horror? Mystery? Chick-lit? A bit of this and that all mixed together?

Probably the latter.

Life is ups, downs, some tragedy, some laughter and a lot plodding along, looking for the sun to come back out.

Someone recently asked why I chose to write romance. The question came from an individual who doesn't care for that particular genre and I couldn't help but hear the note of scorn. No problem. I don't expect everyone to like the same things. I know many dismiss romance as quickly as others dismiss pop music or modern art. I just hope they at least give unfamiliar things a chance. ;)

The answer I gave was simple and precise: I'm a romantic at heart.

But today my answer changed just a bit. I witnessed the aftermath of a family once again sent to the edge of hell and back by heart-breaking loss. I saw such profound grief that it touched my heart. Yet I felt incapable of doing anything to help or give any type of comfort.

Later, I sat thinking about how resilient the human spirit can be, and praying for my own family. That's when I realized times like these are why I read and write romance, whatever form it takes. I need to know at least one thing is going to work out the way I think it should. I find comfort in the fact that good things do happen, despite the hurdles and pits along the way. I want to see two characters -- lost, alone, searching -- find one another and fall in love. I need to be reassured, I suppose. I want that Happy Ever After.

Life is filled with tragic mistakes. Pain and heartache abound and we never know for sure that it will, in fact, be okay. We hope it will. We hold on and cling to whatever faith we possess, waiting for the pain to subside and the next ray of sun to appear.

But sometimes that rope gets a bit frayed and our hands start to slip...

So I write romance because I hope. I have faith. I dream, for myself and others. If my stories give even one person a respite from whatever is going wrong in their lives, then it's worth any scorn or dismissal I might receive. If I can soothe one tattered heart, even for a few pages, it's worth it.

I'm a storyteller. I'm a bit old-fashioned, too. I write about a man and a woman finding each other and falling in love despite whatever danger or insecurities I throw at them. Sometimes they're very real people ... sometimes they're larger than life. But they always get through it and come out stronger in the end.

Whatever my current genre might be, I know love can get me through it. After all, life imitates art.